XmrBazaar (beta)

1. Ain’t nobody seein’ your wallet, bitch.
Bitcoin? It’s like postin’ your bank statement on Twitter. Monero? Like burnin’ it and scatterin’ the ashes.

2. Your payments don’t snitch, yo.
Send Monero, and it’s gone. No trail, no receipts, no dumb-ass blockchain detectives sniffin’ your biz.

3. Ain’t no one trackin’ your stack, man.
BTC addresses are traceable as hell. Monero’s like droppin’ cash in a sewer grate. Bye-bye.

4. You can’t tell how much I got, bitch.
Amounts? Hidden. Always. Even your mom won’t know how broke you are.

5. Every coin’s clean, yo.
BTC’s got ‘tainted coins’ like it’s freakin’ radioactive. Monero? Fresh out the lab every time.

6. Can’t blacklist what you can’t see.
Try blocking Monero. You can’t even find it. Like ghosts, fool.

7. No opt-in privacy garbage.
You don’t gotta toggle no privacy switch. It’s all private, 24/7. Like a G.

8. I don’t need permission to use my money, dawg.
No ID checks. No passport scans. Just keys and guts.

9. You ain’t gettin’ doxxed for sendin’ coins.
BTC gets ya tied to your address. Monero’s like wearin’ 5 hoodies and a ski mask.

10. I ain’t tryna end up on no list, yo.
Use BTC, you might be on some watchlist. Use XMR? Ain’t no one knowin’ jack.

11. Governments hate XMR, and that’s a damn good sign.
You know it’s working when the suits start sweatin’.

12. It’s like cash, bro—but for the internet.
Unmarked bills, passed in an alley. That’s XMR, digital style.

13. This ain’t no pump-and-dump coin.
No VC clowns. No influencer shills. Just coders and cypherpunks doin’ work.

14. Even the IRS be sweatin’ this shit.
They offerin’ bounties to crack it. Still can’t. Stay mad, yo.

15. You can’t trace what don’t exist.
No exposed address, no visible balance, no ‘rich list.’ That’s by design, bitch.

16. It don’t care where you from, man.
US, Iran, Mars—XMR don’t discriminate. Censorship-resistant like a mother.

17. Ain’t no fat cats mining all of it.
ASIC-resistant means it ain’t just some rich nerds hoardin’ the block rewards.

18. It actually works, fool.
Real people use it. Not for memes. For freedom, safety, and real ass transactions.

19. It’s not popular for a reason, yo.
XMR ain’t supposed to be cool. It’s supposed to protect you. BTC went pop. XMR stayed in the shadows.

20. If freedom had a currency, this’d be it.
This ain’t about gettin’ rich. It’s about stayin’ free.
XMR’s for the ones who don’t trust nobody and got a damn good reason.

Real problems with Monero, straight up, no sugar

1. This sh*t’s slow as hell sometimes, bitch!
Yo, Monero transactions take longer than BTC sometimes. All that privacy math? Makes it heavy. Ain’t instant, bro.

2. You ever tried running a full node? My laptop was cryin', man.
Monero’s blockchain be thicc, yo. Not like Bitcoin fat, but private blocks = big blocks. You better have RAM and patience, fool.

3. No one takes this ghost coin, yo!
Try buyin’ a burger with Monero — ain’t nobody got a Monero button on their register. Merchants scared of the heat, dawg.

4. Exchanges treat it like a damn leper, man!
Binance? Kraken? They kicked it out. Why? 'Cause governments don’t like what they can’t see. Real shady how they play, yo.

5. You gotta be a damn wizard to use it right, bitch!
CLI wallets? Tor? VPN? If you ain’t careful, your IP’s exposed. Privacy ain’t plug-and-play, yo — it’s work.

X-reason-lists seem to get cliché. anyway, funny language, +rep

Mitigating problems

Slow? No problem! Settle your transactions and go do something else! Maybe play a fun video game, or even rest up and sleep! 6 hours is more than enough to confirm a transaction over 20 times!

Thick blockchain? No worries! Storage's gotten pretty cheap. And yes, you'll need good specs because you're helping save the world, one byte at a time.

No one takes this ghost coin? Start accepting monero and provide a service! You're one individual, but when many individuals transact with monero, you get an economy going! PS: I accept cash, iron, steel, copper, silver, gold, cows and monero.

Binance? Kraken? By the Nine, stay away from those hazard zones! They ask you for information that every child born in the 90s knows NOT to put on the internet! Go for no-kyc swaps!

Privacy should be plug-n-play, just like the Elder Technologies of the Progenitors. I should write a 'privacy now' guide for Monero users...

Can you make some efforts to see that i have wrote that XMR is “slow as hell sometimes”.